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I was in awe. I was shocked. There is a man,

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there is a person that loves like this.

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I

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couldn’t believe that love like this exists.

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I don’t need to search for love, that I am loved,

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and something that I was always searching for,

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I

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already have.

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I was born in former Soviet Union,

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Tashkent. I remember going to school with my

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sister, Irina. There were no buses taking us to school,

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so we had to walk. Our walk to school sometimes

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was very difficult because boys would be throwing

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rocks at us or yelling profanities, saying that, “You don’t belong

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here. This is our country. You belong in Israel.

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Go away from here.” And sometimes they would even grab our bag and

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break the handle of the bag. And, I remember my father,

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a few times in a year, he would have to buy us new backpacks and

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stuff. It was actually pretty sad. But it wasn’t all bad.

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The biggest gathering we usually had was Shabbat.

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My grandmother from my father’s side, she kept kosher,

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and my father would always pray, and I never

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understood the prayers because they were either in Farsi or

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Hebrew. And we, of course, celebrated Hanukkah and go

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to relatives gatherings. There was always a lot of children, a lot of

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food

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during this holiday, and Passover as well.

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I don’t remember we ever went to synagogue in

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Tashkent. Most Bukharans,

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their marriage is arranged. My parents were also

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arranged. Obviously, when your marriage is arranged, you don’t really

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get to know each other.

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You don’t get to

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find out what kind of person it is,

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let alone fall in love or something.

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And same thing was with my parents.

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They didn’t love each other,

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and obviously, they couldn’t show us love as well.

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That was the hardest part, the love that was

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missing. But since they didn’t know about it, they

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lived the way they were able to make it as

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best as they could, as best as they knew how.

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We immigrated from Uzbekistan in

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1979. I was 11 years old. The immigration

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was very difficult. And then one amazing

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day, somebody took my mom, it was not far from where we

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lived in Italy. They took her to this place where they

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had a huge table, and they had Bibles.

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That’s where my mom, first time, heard

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about Jesus. He was introduced to my mom

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as a Jewish Messiah. That was a huge shock to her because

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she always heard that he was a Christian God.

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And when they told her that he is really Jewish,

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and you could read that in the Bible,

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of course, she took it. And there was a really beautiful comic

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book of Yeshua’s life from the

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birth to crucifixion, and it was

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very colorful. I’d never seen anything that beautiful.

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And when I saw that book, I was like, “Wow, this is so beautiful.” That was the

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only reason why I took it in the beginning.

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But when I started reading, and I read that book from cover to

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cover within a day, and I was in awe.

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I was shocked. There is a man, there is a

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person that loves like this. I couldn’t believe

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that love like this exists. I wanted to know how can a person love

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so much that he died for people he doesn’t even know.

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He didn’t know me, but he died for me.

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So, for me, this was

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amazing and I wanted to know more.

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My mom started

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reading the Bible. She started from Psalms, and I

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saw something change in her. My mom was the first

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person who shared the gospel with us, with all her children, with

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me. And she said, “There is a Jewish God.

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His name is Jesus. His name is Yeshua,

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and he died for our sins. He died for

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us. He died because he loved us first.” And

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the way she shared it with me was so

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moving that

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I

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believed.

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Something amazing happened to me.

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I was already married, I already had my first son, and one

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day, while the baby was sleeping, I prayed and I said

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to God, I said, “I want to know how much you love me.

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Can you show me how much you love me?” I started feeling

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this amazing warmth all through my body,

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and I was expanding from inside out

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with so much warmth and love. I couldn’t breathe.

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At this time, I told myself

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inside, I said, “I will never, ever

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doubt Yeshua’s love for me ever again, and I would never

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ask him to show me how much he loves me because I know that

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he does.” I don’t need to search for love, that I am

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loved, and something that I was always searching for,

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I already have.

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In October of 2006,

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I decided to get baptized. They told us, the person who’s in

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charge of leading people to get baptized,

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he told us that at home,

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we have to make a list of

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going back as far as you can remember,

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whatever sins you

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did,

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and write them all down.Well,

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that took me

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four to five hours. That person told us, “Each

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thing that you remember, you have to repent

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and ask God for forgiveness in the name of Yeshua

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Hamashiach, in the name of Jesus Christ.” After I repented,

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everything went

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like nothing happened, like a brand-new list.

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I felt so light. I

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couldn’t believe how light I felt.

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I felt so cleansed. I couldn’t even remember all of these

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things that I did anymore.

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And that moment, I realized I knew I was forgiven.

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When I was immersed in the water, that was another amazing

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miracle, and it was very cloudy outside.

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And first,

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the pastor went inside the water with another helper,

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and as soon as they went inside the water,

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the cloud opened, and just where they were

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standing,

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sunlight was shining right on them.

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When I went inside finally, I didn’t even feel cold.

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They asked me if I

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believe, if I receive Yeshua as my personal savior,

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and I said yes, and they dipped me. I gave my life to

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Yeshua. I believe that He is in

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control, and He is my God.

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And

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things started looking different in my life.

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One of the miracles that God did in the beginning

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of my walk, He took profanity away like this.

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And another thing,

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He took smoking. I was smoking before, and He took it like this.

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I was praying to God because He gave me such a conviction in my heart

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that my body doesn’t belong to me anymore.

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My body belongs to God. It’s a temple of God, that

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every time I smoke, I’m poisoning my body.

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And it was so strong inside me, and I was crying to God and praying.

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I said, “Please, Abba, please help me.

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I cannot do this on my own. If you can just take it from me, I

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promise you, every time I see people

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smoking outside, I will pray for them.” When I prayed

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like this, when I told God this promise,

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I felt something inside me completely change.

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And while I was praying, I still had a cigarette, and I tried to take a puff,

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and I started coughing so hard. That

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moment, I understood that not only that

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He delivered me from smoking, He completely cleansed

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my blood from nicotine.

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And I never

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ever went back. God knows us even before

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we ask, but He wants to hear from us.

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He wants us to ask. He wants us to pray because

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it’s a two-way communication. I

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believe that Yeshua Jesus is the Jewish

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Messiah, first of all, because it is written in the scriptures.

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Second of all, because of

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all His miracles. He revealed

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Himself to me in a personal way. You don’t have to be

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scared to ask questions. God can

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hear you.

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He can hear you.

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All you have to do is ask, “Are you real?

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If people say God is real, are you?

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Show me yourself.”

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I asked Him,

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“Do you love me? Show me.”

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And, oh, God, how much He did. I bring that

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love home to my children, to my grandchildren, to my

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husband, and it’s amazing.